April 26th, 2015

safe to sea

And so it goes...

Mum died a week ago.
I'm okay, pottering and organising and spending some time with friends. There's some sadness and feelings of disconnectedness, but it was in every way a release for her, and right.
Grief's different when it's been coming for a long time - I've done all the work already so it really is closure. Also, as Mum died of old age after a good long life, grief feels a bit too much like self-pity, and even that I mostly got out of my system in the last few months.
So now a pause to take stock and figure out what to do with the part of my life that went into taking care of her. I need to reconnect with local friends more as we'd both gotten a bit housebound. And I need to start doing something about my general health and fitness - all in the too hard basket while Mum's been with me the past four years...but I'm allowing myself enough self pity to put that difficult stuff off for just a little while longer.