Title: A Boy Named Jay
Jay was pretty sure that Mer had, yet again, pissed off the nice aliens. Why else would the Javralian High Priestess, an evil old bird with a snaggle-toothed leer, present them with a goddam dildo as a parting present? Yeah, yeah, it was really a gourd from the sacred tanka vine, but what with the shiny curving shaft and the suggestive purplish knob on one end, it didn't leave a hell of a lot to the imagination.
Jay's ears burned as the nasty old crone droned on about how it was an honor to have worked with "two so closely bonded". She had made Jay and Mer stand in the center of the ceremonial hall to receive their parting gift, while over by the cluster of beaming elders, Teyla and Ronon looked on solemnly. Well, Teyla was doing her fake-serene thing, and Ronon had cleared the smirk off his face quick smart after she'd stamped on his toes. Jay winced in sympathy, having collected more than one of Teyla's toe-crushers across various diplomatic missions.
Mer was flushed crimson beside Jay and temporarily struck dumb - she had been ever since the High Priestess had unwrapped the damn gourd and started going on and on about its sacred virtues while waving it around suggestively. Jay squinted sideways at Mer, blank-faced for the assembled masses but inwardly furious at being singled out for public humiliation. She was going to find out what the hell Mer had done to bring this shit down on them, and boy, was Mer ever going to pay.
"And so, through the mystery of the tanka, you will be brought back into balance, within and without. Once this is achieved, my people will be happy to engage in trade for the coming tava bean harvest." The elderly witch bowed deeply and Jay elbowed Mer viciously in the side, bowing in return.
Mer gave a startled squeak then bent forward gracelessly, muttering "Humiliation then physical abuse, Colonel, oh yes, no wonder she thinks our relationship needs work."
"You're the one who let us in for the humiliation, Mer," whispered Jay fiercely as they straightened up again. "What'd you do, call them a bunch of morons or something?"
"Oh, like it's always me that gets it wrong on these missions!" retorted Mer as a chorus of rams' horns blared an end to the parting ceremonies, deafening them all. She raised her voice over the cacophony. "What about P3G-557 when you almost castrated the chief's favorite slave-boy, or that time on the horse planet when you totally over-reacted and shot their shaman in the ass?"
The rams' horns ceased abruptly and Mer's last shouted word echoed in the reverberating silence. Jay groaned. Teyla was so going to work them over at the next training session.
The debriefing was right up there on Jay's list of cringe-worthy experiences. Teyla, who had taken the kinky old High Priestess aside for a final chat after packing Mer and Jay off to the stargate, laid it out for them.
"The Javrali believe that as you are leaders of the Lanteans, you must be 'in balance'. Apparently, your behavior on Javral led them to believe that this is not the case." Teyla narrowed her eyes at them. "I cannot imagine why they would have formed that impression."
Mer snorted, and crossed her arms sulkily. "Like I care what a bunch of bean farmers think about me. Why do I have to waste my valuable time on useless agricultural missions anyway? There wasn't a scrap of Ancient tech on that planet, and no power sources."
"Like it or not, Dr McKay, you and Colonel Sheppard are indeed leaders among the Lanteans and your reputation has preceded you," replied Teyla. "Some cultures require trade agreements to be ratified at a senior level. The Javrali will not trade with us unless you carry out their request to 'balance your relationship'."
Elizabeth leaned forward, frowning. "And you know that we desperately need their tava bean supplies if we're to survive the winter. The Athosian harvest was destroyed by flash floods so there's a lot riding on this agreement." She turned to Jay. "Surely it can't be all that difficult to comply with their request? What do you and Meredith actually need to do? Some sort of ritual?"
Jay flushed. She wasn't going to show Elizabeth the damn dildo, no way. Teyla, however, had no such qualms. Ignoring the spots of hectic color on Mer's cheeks, the bright red tips of Jay's ears, she unwrapped the tanka thing and explained that they both needed to have sex with each other. Using the gourd.
"The Javrali believe that the tanka is sacred and will restore the Colonel and Dr McKay's balance if used in this manner. They say that they can detect whether this has occurred and will not trade with any Lantean delegation until the matter is resolved."
Elizabeth blanched. "I...I see."
Jay stared grimly down, arms crossed, and Mer slumped forward, elbows on the table and face hidden in her hands. "Way to be outed," she moaned, somewhat muffled.
"I was...aware of your relationship, Meredith, and Jay." Elizabeth bit her lip, looking troubled. "And no-one here will speak of this, of course." She looked around the table. Teyla nodded and Jay could feel waves of calm radiating from her. Easy to stay cool if you weren't being threatened with alien vegetables. Alien fruit. Whatever.
Ronon grunted assent. "Don't see why your military's so down on fraternisation anyway. On Sateda it was pretty common in the units. Encouraged, even."
"Oh yeah?" Mer's voice was shrill. "I bet they weren't encouraged to fraternize with gourds!"
Elizabeth raised a hand, silencing Ronon who looked to have been about to launch into the use of sex toys in the Satedan army. Jesus.
"Jay, Meredith. I can't order you to do what the Javrali ask. Nor would I. But I do ask you not to close your minds to it without giving all the issues due consideration." Elizabeth rose. "We'll leave it there."
"All the issues?" huffed Mer, her voice rising. "All the issues to being asked to fuck each other with a, a mutated zucchini so as to cement a trade agreement with superstitious Bronze Age idiots?"
Jay raised her head, fixing Elizabeth with her best fuck-you stare. "Yeah. How are the Javrali going to know if we do or we don't? I say we burn the goddam thing and Mer and I go back there in a week and make super-nice with each other. There's no way they'd find out."
Teyla coughed politely. "The Priestess was clear that she would know, Jay. And destroying the tanka would be unwise - it may prove essential to this agreement, after all. Like you, I do not understand how they could detect whether you have...met their terms...but she was very insistent."
"And this is Pegasus," groaned Mer, slumped down on the table, hands in her hair. "There've been plenty of weirder things so far than a vegetable sex-detector."
Shit. Okay, Jay had had enough of this crap. She stood, pulling Mer to her feet, and snapping her fingers impatiently at Teyla. Teyla raised her eyebrows and re-wrapped the gourd, passing it across the table. "We'll talk about it. No promises." Mer shot her an incredulous look.
Teyla touched Mer's arm as they reached the doorway. "You will also need this," she said quietly. She pulled a dark tangle from a pocket on her tac-vest. "The Priestess had intended to demonstrate its use but I persuaded her that that would not be necessary. You are, after all, both highly intelligent and resourceful women."
Mer sniffed and straightened. "Well, that goes without saying." She took the tangled stuff and shook it out. Oh fuck, a leather strap-on harness. Flushing, Mer stuffed it into her pocket and stomped off down the hallway to the transporters. Jay clenched her jaw and followed after, fingering her sidearm and wishing she had something to shoot. Preferably a Javrali High Priestess.
A week later they were on to Plan B. Plan A had involved a return trip to Javral just as Jay had suggested, where she and Mer had been totally sweetness and light, bad enough that Ronon had given them a wide berth, probably scared that the pent-up snark was going to make their heads explode like watermelons.
The High Priestess had refused even to meet with them, sending an acolyte to tell them that no audience was possible until they had carried out her instructions. They were back at the Atlantis gateroom within an hour, and in the debriefing afterwards, Elizabeth reiterated her request for them to "give all the issues due consideration", then segued maliciously into planning for the rationing of food supplies that would be needed if they were to survive the coming winter sans tava beans. No pressure, but.
Plan B was thrashed out in the privacy of their shared quarters. Not their officially shared quarters, but as good as, given how often Jay stayed over in Meredith's rooms. Hey, the bed was a lot bigger, and there was a balcony, and an ensuite, or what passed for one with the Ancients. Jay would never quite get used to relieving herself on a pedestal containing a bubbling fountain, what Mer called a "bidet with attitude", but the multi-headed shower with warm air jets for afters was definitely a keeper.
"So okay," Mer said, pacing up and down beside the bed. "We need to have sex with the gourd." She stopped in her tracks, sighed deeply and glared at Jay. "Which means you fucking me with it, right, since I'm always the bottom?"
"And a very nice bottom it is." Jay slouched back in the desk chair, crossing one foot over the other knee with her best innocent expression, not a smirk in sight. Sex of any sort would be excellent: Mer had been in such a foul mood since Javral that she hadn't let Jay near her. "It's not that we've never used a dildo before, Mer," she said cajolingly. "You liked me using that glass one on you just fine."
"Yes, well, glass turned out not to be a long-lasting material for a war zone. I just wanted to avoid crushing embarrassment if they x-rayed our personal baggage like at airports, before we left the SGC. Anyway, the damn gourd's not an inert sterile substance, it's organic. I had to get some scrapings off the base analysed by the botanists and I made Carson do a skin test on me as well."
Wow. Jay hadn't realised that the McKay overkill planning machine was quite so far advanced. But hey, if the end result was Jay with a strap-on dick and Mer under her panting on the bed, she wasn't going to complain. Just thinking about it made her clench, made her breathing kick up a notch. "We could use a rubber," she muttered, feeling her ears flush, looking up at Mer from under her eyelashes.
"Yes, it's more hygienic anyway. Not that we have any, but I'm sure Carson's got them. Or wait, no, Laura would loan us some, because no way am I talking to Carson about prescribing condoms so my girlfriend can peg me with an alien sex toy."
Ew. Jay screwed her face up at the thought of talking to Carson about sex of any sort. No way.
So now here they were a day later, all set up for Plan B, condoms and lube at the ready. Jay had worn her tightest black tee, her slinkiest black jeans, and just a touch of eyeliner. Nothing girly, more kind of goth. The short spiky hair, chunky watch, wristband and dogtags gave it that butch edge, anyway, and Jay knew Mer was a sucker for that stuff. She palmed the door open to find Mer emerging from the bathroom looking flushed and touseled, wearing only her oversized "Heisenberg may have been here" tee. Damn she had nice tits. Jay was extremely fond of them and it had been way too long since Jay's mouth and Mer's tits had been up close and personal.
"Hi, babe." The door hissed shut and she prowled over to Mer, who was staring at the black outfit with a glazed expression. Jay put her arms loosely around Mer's waist, pulling them close so their hips and breasts brushed tantalisingly. Mer's eyes slid shut and she bit her lip. Jay leaned in and licked it, then sucked on it a little, and then pulled her close and just went for it hungrily, opening Mer's mouth and swallowing her soft moans. Too long, it had definitely been way too long. "Oh yeah," she whispered against Mer's throat, biting and kissing, one hand tangled in Mer's soft messy hair and the other sliding up under the shirt to palm her ass. God, that ass. Jay had a sudden vision of taking her from behind with the slick purple shaft of the strap-on sliding in and out and shuddered, pulling them tight together and thrusting against Mer, biting her shoulder.
"Jesus," moaned Mer. "It turns you on that much, the idea of pegging me?" Jay pushed her tee up and squeezed her breast, rolling Mer's nipple in her fingers while sucking along her collar bone. Mer pressed into the touch, gasping. "Christ. I'd have had the chemists whip up a batch of silicone ages ago if I'd known."
Then there were clothes on the floor and they were on the bed and it was all mouths and fingers and no more words. Mer writhed beneath her and someone was groaning, someone else was making high-pitched incoherent noises. Jay had her mouth on Mer's breast and her fingers thrusting up into hot sweet wetness and she needed, she had to, she wanted and she pulled Mer's hand down and rode the heel of her palm, hips jerking helplessly as Mer arched back, shuddering.
Some indeterminate time later Mer regained the power of speech. She was usually the first, if she didn't fall asleep. "Oh my god, oh my god." Her hand came up and slid into Jay's hair, pillowed on Mer's chest. Mer stiffened. "Shit, we forgot to use the damn strap-on."
Jay lifted a limp hand and waved it vaguely in a circular motion. "Round two," she managed, voice still husky.
Mer relaxed again. "Yes, yes of course. Better to take the edge off first, we've still got to figure that harness out." She nudged Jay. "Hey, just as well you grew up with horses, right?" Jay made a rude farting noise against Mer's ribcage, which turned into a kiss, then more kisses, then it was breasts and nipples again until Mer stopped her, breathless. "Harness."
Jay groaned and rolled off, padding over to the desk and retrieving the tangle of straps and the tanka. She tossed Mer the lube and sat down on the side of the bed, laying the dildo beside her. The straps were twisted and misaligned and it took them way too long to figure out what went where. It might have gone quicker but for Mer making huffy grabs and saying "Look, it goes there, see? Jesus, it's just geometry!", which led to Jay holding the whole mess up above her head and out of Mer's reach, glowering.
Finally it was all buckled on, the tanka jutting out obscenely from her groin. It fit into a leather socket and had a rounded base that was going to be interesting once they got going. Jay stood, legs parted, and peered down at herself, then up to find Meredith sitting dazed on the bed, open-mouthed and staring. She could imagine how she looked: kohl-smudged eyes, dark-edged dogtags, the black leather harness with its curved purple shaft. Jay licked her lips, her eyes slitted, and beckoned.
Mer slid to the floor and crawled over. She knelt at Jay's feet and slid her hands up Jay's thighs, stroking the soft skin inside them, then Jay's hips and belly. Stroking the harness and then taking the tanka in her hand and rolling on a condom. For some reason it was unbearably hot to have this thing sticking out from her all sheathed and ready, quivering as Mer's hands stroked it.
Jay thrust forward and Mer gripped the dildo in one fist and opened her mouth. Oh fuck, she was sucking it, she was sucking Jay off. The smooth purple shaft slid in, stretching Mer's mouth, and Jay put her hand down and stroked her cheek, feeling it moving there, hard and wet with its sleek bulbous tip as it slid in and out, in and out. "Nggghhh," Mer moaned, really getting into it, reaching round to pull Jay closer so the blunt rounded end pushed in, parting her labia and pressing on her clit. "Mer," she moaned, rubbing herself against it and fucking Mer's mouth. Oh god, if she didn't get inside Mer right now she was going to just, had to just...and Mer slid her hand in between Jay's legs, fingers on her clit beside the tanka, and that was it, Jay was coming hard, crying out and shaking apart in Mer's arms, her legs trembling.
Mer swung her around and took her down onto the bed before she collapsed. Jay sprawled back on the covers, loose-limbed and tingling as her breathing steadied. "Sorry, I just. Dammit. Round three, okay?" She pouted at Mer. "Anyway, that was your fault."
Mer pressed in along her side, flushed and unrepentant. She kissed Jay's neck and stroked her breasts - considerably less lush than her own, but Mer seemed to like them. "Oh yeah? What with you looking like fucking sex on legs and wearing that...thing...you're kind of to blame as well." She rolled onto Jay, straddling her so Jay's cock nestled snug in the crack of her ass, and leaning in for a kiss, muttering. "Jay, I can't wait, need to, please, baby, please can I..." until Jay said "Yeah, I'm okay, but my legs're still-"
"So not a problem," said Mer, grabbing the lube and settling across her thighs, slicking up the condom. She raised up and positioned herself, frowning in concentration. So goddam cute and as hot as hell as she put her head back and moved, fucking down onto the shaft and grinding against Jay. It lifted off as Mer withdrew, then it pressed hard on Jay's clit again, stealing her breath and making heat swell between her legs. It was almost too much, almost painful, and then it was good, and then great, and then Jay's hands were hard on Mer's hips, pulling her down, Mer's legs splaying wider as Jay fucked her. Mer sobbed, a flush rising from her breasts like it did when she was close. Jay hooked a leg over and rolled them fast, pushing Mer's legs up and thrusting into her, grunting. Mer convulsed under her, eyes rolling back and it was bright and hot and white and Jay was gone.
Plan C took longer. First there was the shock of their return to Javral to lock down the tava bean shipment, only to be refused yet again. Only Teyla's steely grip on her wrist and Ronon's strategic bodychecking stopped Jay from launching herself at that old bitch of a High Priestess when they were told that while they had made good progress, they were still not "in balance". Mer's eyes had bulged and she had to be dragged off squeaking, Ronon's hand clamped firmly across her mouth to avoid a diplomatic incident.
Once again, Teyla played cultural go-between. "It seems," she explained carefully, having cleared the debriefing room of everyone but Jay and Mer, "That there must be balance in the act as well. Each partner must use the tanka to pleasure the other, in turn."
"Oh, what?" yelled Mer, then toned down the decibels after a swift kick from Jay. "This is just, it's just...totally unacceptable! The old witch is getting off on this, she'll be stringing us along forever with her outrageous demands."
"I know it must seem excessive, Meredith, and I am sorry that the Javrali are being so intransigent on this matter, but I do not believe that she is lying. It was my error in misinterpreting what she meant by 'sex with each other'. Apparently it must be fully reciprocal."
Jay just shut down, and gave everyone the dead-eye stare. She took to going to the gym at odd hours and working over the heavy bag. After a while, Ronon and Teyla started "happening" to be there, to inveigle her away from the punchbag to spar with them. Jay collected a nice set of minor cuts and bruises, but her knuckles got less swollen.
Elizabeth suggested that Jay might like to talk to someone, like maybe Heightmeyer. Jay didn't even dignify that with a reply, just stalked off to terrify the marines. Fucking tava beans: she was never going to eat the filthy things again. And they made you fart.
Mer was remarkably patient. She didn't push Jay to talk, or go into a neurotic spiral of self-doubt because Jay was quiet even when they were alone. She just snarked about what the morons in the labs had done to kill them all that day, and explained the math in a new theorem she was working on which apparently had an excellent chance of cracking the Navier-Stokes equations. At night, she spooned herself behind Jay protectively, one arm around her waist.
Finally, lying curled together but not yet asleep, Jay clenched her jaw and began. She took Mer's hand and entwined their fingers. "I don't talk about this shit," Jay said flatly. "You're gonna think it's nothing, gonna think I'm making a big drama up out of nowhere."
Mer just pulled her closer and kissed the back of her neck. "I'm listening," she said.
"I wasn't, like, abused or raped or tortured or any of that shit... well, not until we arrived here," she added after a moment.
"Come to sunny Pegasus for the trip of a lifetime," Mer said.
"It was just my family," said Jay.
"Oh yeah, families. Tell me about it." So Jay did.
Her father had wanted a boy, that was all. A son to take over his company. Jay's mother had been a nice enough woman but even when Jay was in kindergarten she was ill. No-one ever told Jay but she later learned it was MS. Her mother had sometimes been there for her, never contradicting her father, too timid and dependent for that, but a comfort. Only sometimes, though. More and more she was absent, in clinics, or in New York or Europe, seeing specialists. By the time Jay was six she was blind, and by Jay's eight birthday she was confined to a wheelchair. There were nurses, and ramps, and the smell of sickness and medicines in her large, airy room, and Jay recalled reading to her and how frail she had been at the end. She died when Jay was twelve.
Probably that would have been enough to fuck up some people, but it was how her father had coped that really made the difference. As her mother got ill and was diganosed, he shifted his focus to Jay. Maybe it was a business thing, a habit too ingrained to break: cut your losses, disinvest, diversify. Jay was the project, the new development.
She should have been a boy - that was clear from the beginning. So she tried her damnedest, wearing jeans and boys' shirts and cutting her hair short with scissors if the maids wouldn't help - these days she got the experts to do the same cut, as a fuck you to everything. She rode and rough-housed and shot baskets with the kids of the estate staff. She went with her father to baseball games and College football, talked with him about the business and spent hours building train sets and glueing model planes. She was skinny and tough and they both conveniently forgot that she wasn't a boy. As soon as she could string sentences together she made people call her Jay. It was her initial, after all, and a lot of people went by their initials. A lot of guys, anyway.
Later, Jay heard about trans people, and did research on the net. But that wasn't Jay. She never really felt she was a boy down inside, not really. She wanted to be, for her Dad and for herself, because he wanted that. It would have been simpler, that's all, would have pleased him. But Jay always felt like a fraud, a dress-up doll - Ken, not Barbie. Her mother never knew what was happening, especially after she lost her eyesight. Not that she'd have done anything, even if she had. The staff didn't question their employer's tomboy kid either. Rich people could be weird - money bought you that right.
Her father betrayed her just before her body did. After her mother died he immersed himself in business and then several months later he brought home The Bitch. Angie was a trophy wife and Jay fucking hated her. Thirteen and messed up, grieving and confused and hormonal, yeah, recipe for disaster. And periods too, to cap it all off. Another turbulent year, and then Angie popped out her half-brother, Dave. Finally her father had his son, and a new, more successful project.
Jay took to hanging out with the tough kids, smoking dope and drinking, and lurking around fairgrounds cadging rides from the carnies. She liked the Ferris wheel best, it was quiet way up there and it helped put the crap into perspective.
She was packed off to boarding school and luckily, that was okay. Away from her father and Angie and the precious baby brother it was better, and she found that she could make friends, and that she was good at math, and science. The sports helped her to fit in, and she was already an expert at false fronts, so charming her teachers came easily. Not being able to wear jeans and tees sucked, but she wore them on weekends, and she planned holidays with friends so as to avoid her father and the estate as much as possible. He was focused on Dave, anyway, so he barely noticed.
Maybe she should have rebelled with frills and nail polish, but being a boy was ingrained by now, it was who she was. And part of being a boy was liking girls, Jay found, checking out her friends in the showers and change rooms. She'd flirted a few into bed by the time she graduated and went off to College. The Air Force was a challenge, with DADT, but she'd never stopped liking model planes, or the feeling at the top of a Ferris wheel, way up above it all. And there it was again, the false front, hello old buddy.
So here she was, fighting goddam aliens in another fucking galaxy, still flirting, still bluffing. Military Commander against all the odds, a mutant, in love with a loudmouthed genius, and in all those years, no-one had ever stuck their dick in her. Hell, no. Fingers, yes, tongues, yes, but no cocks, flesh or plastic or metal.
She'd never let anyone inside her like that, never let them that close. She'd told herself she was too butch, too toppy, too much one of the guys. But really, she just hadn't trusted anyone enough to let them in. Not until Mer. Not even Mer. Not until now.
"It's a pretty big deal, then, this thing with the tanka," Mer said thoughtfully, stroking circles on Jay's palm with her thumb.
Jay snorted. "Well, duh," she said, covering her nervousness.
Mer pulled at her shoulder and she rolled onto her back. She wanted to cross her arms, but that would look dumb. Anyway, it was her legs that she really wanted to cross. Mer lay on one elbow and stroked Jay's hair back from her forehead. "I think you told me all that because you're going to let me do it," Mer said, eyes big and blue and her mouth twisted down a little. "You're planning on closing your eyes and thinking of England, or, or, Virginia. Hmmm, well, maybe Virginia isn't all that apposite-"
Jay huffed out a breath and rolled her eyes, but didn't disagree.
"Okay." Mer bent down. "You're set on falling on your sword, or, um, my sword - Jesus, what is it with me and the bad puns tonight? I think it's 'cause the damn thing's a gourd. No-one can maintain a suitable level of drama when vegetable dildoes are involved." She poked Jay in the chest. "Not even you."
"Mer," growled Jay threateningly.
"Yes, yes, no levity. Very serious deflowering underway for the good of us all. Oh my god! You, you're not technically a virgin, are you? Intact hymen and all that?"
Jay shut her eyes and groaned. Only Mer. "No," she gritted out. "Horseriding tends to take care of little details like that." She glared at Mer. "I had it checked out by an OB-GYN once. Wouldn't let her use a speculum, though."
"Jesus. Tell me you get smears done?" Jay stared at her mutely. "Oh, great. Okay, that's quite enough of that nonsense." Mer leaned in and kissed her softly. "Now, you listen to me. I love you and I am not going to hurt you. I'm going to go slow and I promise, you'll enjoy it."
Jay bit her lip, and then nodded, and touched Mer's cheek.
What she remembered later was her whole body tingling with pleasure. Mer's hands played her like a Steinway until Jay was loose and open, spreading her legs for Mer's mouth, tongue and long, clever fingers. Mer donned the harness much faster now they'd mastered it, buckling it tight against her dark blond curls. Jay's mouth went dry at the sight of Mer's breasts, her soft belly, and below it the leather straps and curved jutting phallus, lubed and condomed, transforming her into an X-rated Amazon.
Mer sat back against the headrest and pulled Jay into her lap. "C'mon baby, it's easier this way, you'll feel more in control. Here, let me..."
Jay felt Mer teasing her entrance with the head, then pushing it inside just a little. She gasped and steadied herself , hands on the carved wall in front of her, as Mer stroked her clit, easing her down until she was seated and filled. Jay could feel Mer's soft curls mingling with her own dark, wiry bush, could feel soft rounded hips pressing her thighs apart, spreading her wide. She rose up, legs trembling, then down, letting Mer's cock slide into her again. And again, and again, and Mer moaned and writhed, fingers slick between them and good, it was good, and Jay wanted, driving herself down and fucking herself hard as Mer thrust up and took her, so much stronger than she looked. Jay closed her eyes as the pleasure uncoiled. Deep pleasure, sweet and aching and so far inside her, right down in her core. Her head fell back and she came with a sob, and Mer held her through it, there was nothing but Mer, inside her and everywhere, wrapping her around.
Some things changed after that, and some didn't. The next delegation successfully bartered for tava beans galore, enough to last them the winter and beyond. Mer and Jay didn't go back to Javral, but apparently their presence wasn't actually required. The (doubtless insufferably smug) High Priestess told Teyla she was happy that balance had been restored in the Lanteans' leaders, presumably using some goddam gourd-related spidey-sense, although Mer said that vegetables couldn't possibly have spidey-senses. That lead to a prolonged argument about superpowers and a rehash of the Great Batman vs Superman Debate until Ronon threatened to stun them both. Which, okay, he might, so they headed off to the mess for dinner where Jay scored two caramel pudding cups, yay. And besides, it was her turn to bottom tonight so all in all, life was good. She still preferred topping, though, still wore black outfits and got Miko to cut her hair all butch and spiky. She did let Doc Biro do a cervical smear however, speculum and all, with Mer there, holding her hand and bitching away about Zelenka's latest idiocy.